update

It's been a while since the last post, but time is precious, so here is a quick list of our life right now.

* Dance show on Wednesday night. Two hockey players, one soccer super-star, and a concert violinist dancing to my hip hop choreography. (Crazily - they look amazing together)
* Kooka is reading Matilda by Roald Dahl
* Punk is reading Al Capone Does My Shirts by Gennifer Choldenko
* Kooka has been busy for weeks on her inventions - the latest of which is a go-kart.
* My little brother's birthday is Saturday
* Both kids wrote out Christmas lists already, and are wondering why we don't have a tree up yet.
* Volunteering on Thanksgiving. Hopefully the kids will get to help out a few days before.
*Went to see the Director's play last weekend. Scared the bejesus out of everybody. Guess who's still sleeping with the light on . . .
* Working on a Flash Mob, and can't say any more about it. Shhhhhhhhh

more from the "are you freaking KIDDING me?!" dept.

The class bully has not stopped. In fact, Punk has suffered at least 3 more assaults since the last writing.

We have been told that "there is no such thing as a bully" and that perhaps Punk has brought this on himself by "talking to this child" or "sitting at the same table." Everyone involved agrees that Punk has really done nothing wrong, but since he has no "special needs" - he needs to be the bigger person. He is supposed to understand that certain people have issues - and if their issues cause him physical scarring or even brain damage - well that is the way of the world - or at least the way of this particular school.

Ok.

Whatever.

That's not even the point today.

Today's file includes this little gem:

After another "difficult" child was stealing from Punk and his friends, Punk did exactly what his father and I asked him to do - he confronted the situation verbally. The kid then began clawing at Punk and pulling on his clothes. So Punk moved to plan B (also dished out by his fed-up parents) which was to physically extricate himself from the situation. We told him to put his hands out and shove, push, whatever you call it, to regain his physical space and safety.

According to his report - he did not even do what we asked. He turned and brushed the kid off of him. Said child fell to the ground and began complaining that Punk shoved him.

Good thing Punk is a near Buddhist. The kid is no saint - he is a bit of a goofball, and an incredible smart-alec when the occasion calls. But anyone who has met him knows that he is a pacifist. The kid won't even swat mosquitoes. He is not a hitter - which is sort of a shame at this point.

So tonight, Punk recalls his trip to the principal's office for me. "Mom," he says, "It's almost funny at this point, because the principal looks at the other kid and says, 'YOU stop clawing people,' then turns to me and says, 'and YOU quit shoving!' Like it is MY fault I had to pry this kids' nails off of my skin."

He actually laughs out loud when he says, "Oh no mom - you didn't hear the best part yet. Best part is when the teacher said, 'You know Punk if you are hitting people we will have to remove you from school.'"

Say it with me folks . . . WTF????!!!!!

Yeah - Punk's words were "Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?! I have been pummelled in the face for two months, and the ONE time I actually take my parent's advice and protect myself, I am threatened with suspension?! What the . . . ?"

And if he had let the F word slip out, I could not possibly have blamed him.

halloween

In case you have never been to our house at Halloween - your loss.

We go all out - Punk and Kooka especially.

This was just during trick or treating - the party afterward was even MORE amazing.

groceries

I am obviously shopping at the wrong grocery store.

Because most of this happens when I go to Cub Foods - but not nearly as much confetti.


But still - this video makes me incredibly happy.

Oh - and in case you're wondering - my role is usually the hot girl in the leather jacket - and yes, my legs do get really tired from climbing on top of the frozen foods containers.

good company

Some kids have a watch dog.
Some have a kitten to curl up in their lap.
Not my kid.
Punk has been sick for 5 days, out of school for 3, and Walter the toad has taken very good care of him.

the worst feeling ever

As much as I hate to get on an airplane tomorrow, what I hate even worse, was the fact, that for about 30 minutes tonight, I thought my child was lost (or worse - yes worse) in the woods.

He was on a school trip, and in case you are wondering - has been pulled from such school, until somebody - anybody, will tell us why the hell this happened - and what (if anything) they'll do to keep it from happening again.

I am exhausted from crying, Punk is not doing much better. He is OK, and the story is too long to explain here . . .but I will say this much:

The girl who has hit him in the face no less than 4 times this year, is still in his class despite their "so called" zero tolerance policy on violence. Apparently she gets an exception to beating the $#!t out of her classmates because she is "special needs" (Punk is not the only one who has been hit by her). And I am pretty sure that her "special need" is that she needs a "special kick in the ass" - but I digress . . .

First we have the issue with the class bully, and now nobody knew where our kid was for 45 minutes in the woods at dusk.

To be continued . . .

travel

Traveling to Florida. But not for a good reason. Somebody we love is gone.

I didn't get to know him long enough, but I know that he serenaded me in pizza parlor parking lot, tackled me on accident, and taught the professor to make amazing jelly pancakes.

We are all sad this week.

math

OK - so we are into the part of the school year where math drills are coming home in the backpacks. I, by the way, happen to be totally cool with that. It's a worthwhile endeavor. If Mrs. Fleischer hadn't made me memorize my times tables I would still be counting 7x6 on my fingers.

But Punk concerns me a bit.

His new school allows for "creative answers." Again - I am totally down with giving credit for somebody who thinks outside of the box . . . but . . . in this class you can actually get credit for coming up with a fantastic theory and still getting a completely wrong answer.

And this is why I am worried:

Last year, Punk is taking a big math test - not his first - wasn't like he'd never done it before, so I can't blame naivete'. The question goes something like this:

It takes 1 roll of paper to print 15,000 ten dollar bills. Each ream of paper weighs 26 pounds. You have 1,000,000 in the bank, and would like to withdraw it. The trouble is that your breifcase will only hold 11 pounds at a time. It takes 1 hour to get back and forth between your house and the bank. How much money can you fit into your briefcase at once, and how many hours will it take to make the withdrawl?

For a moment let's ignore the fact, that even M.I.T. doesn't even assign problems this convoluted, and take at face value that most fourth graders are going to attempt a logical response.

Not my kid.

His answer goes something like this:

"Is it a weekday? Because if it is - who cares - I'll just come back tomorrow, I'm in no hurry. Nothing I want costs more than a hundred bucks, and I know that much will fit. Besides, one briefcase full of cash should be enough for anybody. Is anybody really that greedy? If you have that much money you should just share it - why bother coming back at all? And my mom always says your money is safer in the bank anyway."

This is followed by a cartoon of a man with an overflowing breifcase being admonished by an angry mob.

So not only did he make no attempt to actually solve the problem - he wrote down NO numbers whatsoever, dragged my name into his communist response . . . and still got half credit!

And THAT my friends is why I have math phobia this year

true dat

jib jab

We can never resist - no matter how stupid we make ourselves look. Aside from my mouth being crooked, I think we look pretty fab - especially the Frankenstein - dang!

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

new school

We miss homeschooling.

I thought this new school would be a bit more like homeschooling, and we have not given up on it yet, but yesterday neither kid could tell me a thing they learned (though I am sure they did - their teachers are excellent) - and Punk's new friend was drawing "I hate South Iraq cartoons on our chalkboard . . . so I am not yet convinced this is the place for us either.

bad mother

If you haven't seen Mary Poppins yet - you absolutely must. I took the kids (and 40 students) to the cities last week to catch one of the last shows.

Kooka could not wait to don her own Mary Poppins outfit for the occasion. She got so many compliments from total strangers as we walked downtown . . . including these guys.

Insane Clown Posse was playing at a nearby club, and their fans were all over the place. They do look creepy - especially if scary clowns freak you out (aka - Punk), but they did break character when Kooka walked by. "Ohhh my gosh - she is sooooo cute!" they said. Kooka responded with a quick "thank you."

But I just couldn't let the moment pass - sweet little Mary Poppins chillin' with ICP . . . it was too much to resist - too weird. Hope this doesn't make me a bad mother.