the plague

God is furious with the people on the east side of town. I don't claim to know why, but they must have done something attrocious, because tonight there were toads of biblical proportions crawling and leaping and squelching all over their side of the city. Normally I would be completely oblivious to the curses and plagues sent to destroy everyone east of the soccer park, but tonight Schroeder went to the movie with Punk and I, and we were taking him home. I had to slow down and swerve and stop to keep from coating the tires with amphibian bits.

So we get to Schroeder's house, and Punk really needs to use the bathroom, so we get out of the car - and there's this little toad. Of course Punk picks it up in one swoop. We borrow a lid-less olive jar from Schroeder's house, and Punk puts his new pet inside. On the way home it's more of the same - toads of all sizes jumping through our headlights, Punk watching, facinated, me trying not to throw up.

Then a particularily fat one jumps right into the middle of the road and won't move. I stop the car. Punk jumps out, grabs him and somehow manages to cram him into the tiny olive jar with the other one. I spend the rest of the trip shouting, "You BETTER keep your hand on that jar Punk! I am SERIOUS! Do not even THINK about moving your hand, or it will be the last thing you EVER move!" Punk is giggling like cazy in the backseat, and expounding upon all the virtues of having a big toad for a pet - not the least of which is the fact that he can eat live crickets that we can buy at the pet store. Which he truly believes to be strong selling point.

When we get home, Punk transfers both toads into Trevor's old terrarium. It's not until I point out how hungry - and gianormous the other toad looks, that Punk decides to give the tiny one a fighting chance and set him free.

I am dreading tomorrow. But at least I can sleep tonight - there are two heavy books and a piggy bank holding that terrarium lid on.

Thank God I live on the west side. We did get the worse end of the hailstorm, and the chicken pox, but I'll take both of those over the toads ANY DAY.