Thursday, March 25, 2010

clothes

This is getting a little old.

I have never been a good at being pregnant - but I promised that if I ever had the good fortune to have a third child, that I would relish the whole experience.

Whatever.

Aside from the all-day sickness, virus that morphed into leg paralysis, and inability to do my job properly - there is this little nugget, that I have never been able to avoid:

All maternity clothes fall into one of two categories: a)Suburban businesswoman trying to look professional while hiding an over-inflated beach ball under her smartly buttoned oxford . . . or B) Mother-to-be who never gets off of the couch, eats cheetos all day, and is content to take her kids to dance class wearing hot pink leggings and an oversized Pooh Bear T-shirt.

MY GOD!

And even when I do manage to find something without a screen-printed Tweety Bird, it is still revolting. There is absolutely nothing available that does not make me look like a) a nerd b) a slob or c) a druid from a George Lucas production.

I suppose that if I were willing to spend $76 dollars for a t-shirt, I could manage to look respectable for the next 4 months, but I can't bring myself to do it. Besides - even those shirts seem to take a crude delight in pointing out the obvious. A white tank I found, simply reads "Oops!" Another actually says "Sex Ed Dropout," while a third plasters a red foil star boldly across the navel proclaiming it's wearer to not only be pregnant, but apparently, also . . . a Sneetch.

I am just going to keep stuffing myself into my regular clothes as long as I can.

6 comments:

Melanie said...

I wore t-shirts/tanks with a button down shirt opened at the front & preg jeans for practically my whole pregnancy. Not exactly stylish but not a teenaged Hobbit either... Www.hotmama.com (I think). You can pay $175 for an amazing pair of preg jeans. Ha!!!

It won't matter anyway. You're adorable either way.

* said...

Actually - when I went to the link you gave me, it was a porn site for Milfs, and mother/daughter threesomes - but either way - it did manage to make me feel much better about my life.

Melanie said...

OMG! LMAO!!! I mean: http://www.stellamaternity.com/maternityjeans.html

* said...

Stella is the place I looked with the sneetch shirt

Lady Bright said...

For my last one I got one pair of designer jeans from the thrift store & a couple of maternity tanks from Target, then wore regular hoodies or button down funky shirts over the tanks, plus a few mens plain shirts in larger sizes. Pregnancy clothes suck & always have.

Rapp family fun said...

Jana-
get over it-you look great and super cute as a prego!!! You know that you do!! Tell your self that ever day in the shower! Clothes are a hard one. I found some ok stuff at Old Navy-like t-shirts and hoodies-that didn't totally brake the bank either. I'd borrow you my old ones but I think ever pair of pants would be capris-5'2' in the right shoes doesn't strech to far! Good luck lady!! p.s-
if you need more fun sites to view I could find you a few!!just kidding!!