Friday, February 5, 2010

my new hero

This guy on facebook cracks me UP. He is 74 years old, crochety as heck - and his son keeps track of his quips. These are some of my favorite things he's said to his grown sons: (some have been edited for language here):

"You look just like Stephen Hawking...Relax, I meant like a non-paralyzed version of him. Feel better?... Fine. Forget I said it."



"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it."



"I need to change clothes? Wow. That's big talk coming from someone who looks like they robbed a Mervyn's."



"The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain't like he knows the cure for cancer and he just ain't spitting it out."



"You sure do like to tailgate people... Right, because it's real important you show up to the nothing you have to do on time."



"You're being over dramatic. You own a TV and an air mattress. That's not exactly what I'd call "a lot to lose."



"Can we talk later? The news is on... Well, if you have tuberculosis it's not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes, jesus."


I hope I'm this smart when Punk and Kooka are grown ups.

10 comments:

Treats said...

What's this guy's name? I think I've heard some of his quips. Pretty funny.

* said...

I don't know his name - but it sounds like he's a retired Dr. or something. It's on Facebook under $#!+ My Dad Says.

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