the outdoorsy type

Aaron and I are outdoors people - really we are. I was a camp counselor for two years. We can both build a raging bonifre, set up a tent, and have been known to hike for miles just to see a waterfall. We actually named our firstborn after one of the greatest outdoorsmen ever.

But we are nothing compared to Punk. His favorite place in the whole wide world is the Amazon Rainforest (even though he's never been). His second favorite place is the arb at Carleton. The same kid who used to be terrified of the balance beam in baby gymnastics, runs across logs that span a rushing river. He walks nearly barefoot through leechy puddles, crawls through tick infested ivy, chases snakes and captures small amphibians without ever being stung, bit, or even clawed. He is the crocodile hunter in miniature.

I don't know how he does it. Maybe someday he will marry Bindi the Jungle Girl, and he can live the life of his dreams - snuggling venomous animals and never having to change his shirt.

please help

Today we held our annual picture day fundraiser. Each year Aaron takes "school" pictures for homeschoolers, preschoolers, and people who's regular school pictures turned out hideous ( a sizeable clientel). This year our family decided to send the proceeds to the John's Hopkins Autoimmune Disease Research Center. It's the one place we could find that was working to find cures for Addison's Disease, Lupus and certain types of Diabetes - all three of which affect people we love.

If you didn't get your picture taken, it's not too late to give. Just $5 will buy 20 petri dishes for the reaserch lab, $13 can help identify over 400 strands of DNA, $60 can buy an enzyme used to connect DNA fragments. Our friends and family need your help. Follow this link to donate: John's Hopkin's Autoimmune Disease Research Center

stuck in our head

Aaron has been around the dance thing for way too long. He's incredibly good at not only finding songs for me, but telling me what type of dance it will work for, and what age should use it. He found this "lyrical" for me yesterday - Kooka and I - who usually share musical tastes - love this one. It's been stuck in our head all day. We dare you not to love it.
Click here to check it out:
bubbly

the results

Don't read this.
Only read it if you are a worried relative, or somebody who is freaking out about the homeschool thing. Normally this is not the kind of information we'd post here, but since everything turned out well, and since a few grandparents are anxious to confirm the validity of their eldest grandchild's education (not to mention the fact that Punk "really, really" wants me to post his test) Here goes:

The PIAT test took about two hours and started with the "General Information" section - which includes questions in history, geography, science & the arts. In this section Punk scored above the 99th percentile and is at a 6th grade level.

Reading recognition was scored by having Punk read out loud. His reading recognition score (which includes the correct pronunciation of words, and how often he stumbled) was in the 99th percentile and is at the 7th grade level.

Reading comprehension was scored by having him read silently and answer comprehension questions. In this he was placed above the 99th percentile and is at the 9th grade level.

Averaging both reading scores together puts him at an 8th grade reading level - and off the chart for the percentile.

In mathematics - he scored in the 96th percentile which puts him at a 5th grade level.

Spelling was in the 75th percentile which lands him in a 4th grade level. Punk was a little disappointed because he really likes spelling - but the tester said that this was actually a very good score for a third grade boy.

Writing was at the 91st percentile - and they do not have a grade level rank for that. Writing is scored on grammar, punctuation, and ability to write complete sentences/stories.

His overall combined scores put him in over the 99th percentile for all third graders in the nation. His overall academic knowledge places him at a 6th grade level.

Whew - now we can all relax - mom, dad, pa, gram, aunts, uncles. Apparently the kid is actually learning something.

the big test

Punk has his first test tomorrow. He is taking the PIAT (peabody individual achievement test), which tests people in six basic areas - math, reading, history/geography, science, general knowledge, and spelling/language. He's been evaluated by individual teachers before, but this is his first ever standardized test, and we are both a little nervous.

Punk is nervous because he likes being smart and is worried that if he doesn't do well on the test, that people won't think he's smart anymore.

I am nervous because everything we've done (or haven't done) for the past three years is going to be judged by a complete stranger. Someone we don't know is going to walk into our house and tell us if we've made the right decision or not. It's a little unnerving. Punk is taking the test, but it's both of us who are being evaluated. Wish us luck.

woodblock printing

Today we studied the Chinese - and how they "invented" printing. We're pretty sure lots of people in lots of countries figured this out - mainly by accident - but the books say it all went down in China, so we stuck to the story. We got a carving set, brayer and ink from the Art Store (we love that place), and got to work. Of course Punk chose to carve an animal. Kooka decided to create a wild design. Both tiles - and the prints turned out pretty well, which surprised their Art Major father.

"Wow! I actually expected them to be kind of hideous," he admited.

I asked him why and he blurted something about "kids that age reversing a drawing in their head." I'm not sure I buy it. I wonder what else he is expecting besides "hideous" history projects. He better not act this surprised when Punk graduates from college or Kooka gets her MD.

today

Today was a good day. For the first time in a long time, nobody HAD to be anywhere. So we all went rock climbing at REI. Punk and Kooka both made it to the top in record time. I wish I had pictures.

boys

So back in the day when I used to actually teach dance instead of just choreograph, I would take little girls and basket toss them, and whip them around, and spot backhandsprings and tucks, and generally make arial warriors out of any ten-year old who was willing. I had a fully sprung gymnastics floor, both knees intact, and the willingness/stupidity to take a fall for any kid who needed rescuing. Even with all of that on my side I still wound up with three broken toes, two bloody noses, a knocked out tooth, two sprained ankles a broken jaw and one concussion.

Fast forward 10 years: I am older, lamer, smarter, and standing barefoot on a grassy backyard with a 30º pitch. I'm still pretty brave - convincing kids that they cannot hurt me - I've done these stunts a thousand times. But still, there are 20 kids over the age of 12 - half of them boys - most of them taller than me.

And while boys are usually better at these types of stunts - sheer leg power, coupled with machismo - they have absolutely no desire to actually learn the finer points of the skill. The girls want a full-scale demonstration, and a verbal breadown of each individual movement, but the boys are completely different. They don't care HOW it's done - they just want to do it - NOW.

Before I can even finish a demonstration I have six guys attempting to vault over each other's heads. Three of them are positive they can pull off a 360º - round-the-world partner flip - with no spotter, and no solid base. Two more knock each other to the ground in a failed attempt at something I didn't even see the start of.

The good news is that we have some sweet flyers in the show. The better news is that nobody got hurt. The best news is that Punk and Kooka will not be in that scene.

school pictures

Not everybody has school pictures that look this good.
Then again - we did spend over two hours with each kid.
They got to wear their favorite stuff, have crazy hair and take tons of photos.
I'm sure you'll see more. There are hundreds - literally.

maori art

Me and Punk and Mom (not dad because he was at work), were studying Australia and we did a painting like they did. It was really fun. First we thought of a nature shape - like a snake and a leaf for instance (that's what I did). We drew a sketch of it, then we outlined it with a black sharpie. Then we put stripes and designs in our leaves and snakes. Then we put little dots all over with Q-tips (we don't think the Australians and Maoris used Q-tips - we think they used their fingers) But we didn't dot around and make it silly - we had to trace one line around the leaf and one around the snake, and when it got squishy we had to trace around BOTH of them.

Punk made his of a turtle and a sun I made mine of a snake and a leaf (I know I already said that). It took a VERY long time to finish it - it ALMOST took the whole day. When Dad saw it, he was pretty amazed.

It was so amazing - you wouldn't believe how pretty it turned out - someday you should come see it.

by Kooka

brotherly love

Punk doesn't have any real brothers, so he's pretty excited to have these guys for the next few months. Punk, Fred, Pigpen and Schroeder play brothers in Cheaper By The Dozen, and today they were together for a guys-only music rehearsal. For about an hour they rehearsed their German language song, which Punk says, "just sounds like a bunch of made-up Dr. Seuss words with a Hitler accent."

home ec

This is not my strongest suit. But still, Kooka wants to learn, and I am supposed to be her teacher. The girl loves to cook, and I figure if I teach her how, then I won't have to. Tonight she made chicken, peas, and homemade macaroni and cheese (we are on a hunt for the best-ever-super-cheesey recipe). Tonight's mac & cheese was OK - not as tangy as we'd hoped - but we still have four more recipes to try.

the foreign language requirement

I barely passed Norwegian in college, and only took it because I had to. I took one year of German from a genuine Nazi, and bailed on Russian class when the professor kept laughing at me. I did teach myself to say hello in ten different languages, but don't speak any of them fluently.

So how is it, that I find myself teaching four different languages to my children? Kooka is obsessed with Spanish - thankfully I am most adept at this one (which isn't saying much). Punk's favorite is sign language (another stong suit for me). But now Kooka also wants to learn French - and Punk needs to learn German (or at least fake it).

Their upcoming play requires all of the boys to sing in German, and the girls to sing in French - very speedy French. I hope the boys sing about the telephone ringing, and having blue eyes - because that's all I know.

punk's prayers

Last night it went like this - completely serious and solemn:

"Dear God,
Please bless everyone, especially the stupid people, because boy, do they need it."

AMEN!

lights, camera, action

Today both Punk and Kooka spent 7 hours shooting a TV commercial. It's a national ad for Lifetime Fitness - so there's a chance that even Uncle Rascal will get to see it. Anyway - they were just two of several children who participated in the shoot. And in case anyone is deluded into thinking this was a glamourous gig, let me set you straight. Here is how the day actually goes:
8:30:Call time. Arrive on location. Set out wardrobe - which consists of almost every single shirt we own, three pair of shorts, two pair of shoes, and countless hair accessories.

8:45: Fill out paperwork for both kids including a waiver. The waiver explains that this commercial can be used for the next hundred years and that even if clips from today's shoot are used in the next Harry Potter film, we will not be getting a single cent more than what they are paying us today. There is also a small disclaimer about the artifical "atmosphere" that will be pumped into the rooms today. The disclaimer says that the atmosphere potion contains water and a type of mineral oil that has not been found to be hazzardous to humans YET.

9:00: Cover Kooka's ears as you listen to the director's assisstant shouting to his assistant, "$#!T - Why do I only have 8 kids? I'm supposed to have 10 F+¢!^g kids!"

9:15: Pack every single thing you own back into the bag, as wardrobe tells both kids - you look perfect in the clothes you have on. I think Kooka slept in those shorts - oh well.

9:30: Walk kids to scene of the first shoot. Notice that this room is already full of "atmosphere." It looks like a rave for 2nd graders - I can hardly see through the fog. Leave both children in the hands of complete strangers. Most of the strangers have dirty t-shirts and carry giant cameras. They have cups of black coffee and powdered sugar on their upper lips. Secretly hope that it IS powdered sugar. The other strangers have way too much product in their hair, perfect teeth, and haughty expressions on their faces. They could care less if my children tumble from the 8 foot climbing wall, as long as it doesn't wreck their shot. The assistant to the assistant actually smiles at the kids. He tells us to adjourn to the holding room - where we can watch the shoot on camera 3's monitor.

10:00: Makeup comes out to talk to cameraman 3. Mentions that the blonde kid with the pigtails is so very polite - and so is the kid in the green shirt. Do invisible victory dance in my head. Watch the monitor and realize that the obnoxious three year-old who won't smile and keeps hitting the adults is always in the front. So is the nasty 7 year old who keeps verbally abusing the producer. Clearly the blond kids' manners ain't getting them any action.

10:30: Kids are excused to the holding room. 70 new "extras" arrive. Wardrobe checks everyone's bathing suits. Send Punk into the men's room with the other guys to change. Freak out until he comes back. Help Kooka change and redo her hair. Play Sleeping Queens - and win.

11:00: Follow the guy with bad highlights who swears a lot down to the pool area. Watch as he lines almost 100 people up onto the side of the pool. The guy who works the atmosphere machine sits behind you eating a hot dog. Take a good look at the atmosphere machine. It's really just a fog machine and giant fan mounted on a shopping cart. realize that while you have been checking out said machine, the blonde swearer has pulled both Punk and Kooka out of the lineup and told them to go sit by the hot tub.

11:05: Run to hot tub, and ask why children are sitting there. Listen to Punk's explanation. "I don't know. He just told us to come and sit right here." Interrogate children about what they were doing. Assume the worst. Feel relieved and guilty when the swearer says he has a special part for them - because they are so patient.

11:30: Action! While all of the other kids splish and splash freely in the pool. Punk and Kooka are asked to run into the pool, and "reset" every 30 seconds. There are about 50 takes. Kooka has goosebumps. Punk's lips are blue. Atmosphere Andy sits to my right shooting copious amounts of vaporized baby oil into my lungs. Wonder why a waterpark needs so much "atmosphere" anyway.

2:15: Scene wraps. Watch Punk and Kook play in the pool for 30 minutes with the other kids, while scenes are checked for reshoots.

2:45: Lunch arrives. We sit with Abbie, whom Punk has worked with before. The nasty 7 year-old from scene 1 finds a spot near us too. On her plate she has one piece of French bread, an orange soda, two pieces of chocolate cake, one brownie and a lemon bar. Punk says he wishes he had a mother like that. The girl giggles and uses her bare hands to stuff half a piece of cake into her mouth. Her mother is nearly as pleasant as she, complaining that there is no room for the "star" to sit because all of the "crew" is eating here too. Look at Abbie's mother who is wide-eyed, biting her lip. Kooka is not so subtle. Tell Kooka to close her mouth and quit staring.

3:30: Get final dismissal from Blondie. Clock out and call Kari the agent. Realize that over 500 takes were shot. Punk and Kooka's clips could be cut right out. Do not tell children this. They are very excited. Listen to them exclaim, "Can you believe they PAID us to play in a waterpark?" Start worrying that if they can get paid to eat cake, jump in bouncy castles, and swim in waterparks that they will never want real jobs.

professor punk

On Tuesday school was in session, and Punk was the teacher. Treats had asked Noah to teach her about animals, and Punk took the offer very seriously. He taught her about endangered species, what causes animals to become endangered and what people can do to help.There was a display board, worksheets, a mini lecture and even a test. He worked pretty hard on it, and was pretty proud of himself when he was finished. Treats made a super cool lunch for them - bird's nest salad, "octopus" hotdogs on seaweed and frosted spider cookies for dessert.

ballerina girl

Kooka had her first ballet class of the year today. I've always thought that ballet is her specialty - she's got decent splits and an arabesque to die for.

But when we got to tap, she completely smoked the rest of the class. She's still the youngest one in it, so she always surprises me.

She told me today that she really wants to take a jazz class. The only one I teach right now is for 10 & 11 year olds. Thankfully Queen Liz said she is teaching one this fall - that is where Kooka will be. Actually as soon as Queen Liz starts teaching ballet and tap and jazz - or opens her own studio, I am off the hook - she's a thousand times better than me.

more about the bride

Tonight Belina the dolphin had her dorsal fin in a binder - sorta like Mulan. I asked why and Kooka informed me that Belina is Chinese. (What?!) She said she is teaching her English, and how to be more like us, so she can be happy here in America with Dolphy.

I'm not really sure if this was some sort of mail order bride thing. It was definitely an arranged marriage, I know that much.

The tag on her tail does say "China." I hope she didn't just marry Dolphy for the green card.

dolphy's big day

Dolphy is a Sea World Souvineer and one of Kooka's favorite stuffed animals. He's been snuggled, stepped on, had his tail in a cast, ridden in an airplane, eaten ice-cream-star soup, had a makeover - the guy gets around. Anyway, last night Kooka won a lovely tie-dyed dolphin at the DJJD Carnival. And as I tucked her into bed she said, "Get some sleep mom. Tomorrow is dolphy's BIG DAY!" I asked what she meant - I mean Dolphy's already had a pretty exciting life - what could be bigger than that? A tremendous grin spread across her face as she held up her new prize. "Tomorrow Dolphy's getting married!"

So, this morning we were in the kitchen when the announcement came, "The wedding is about to start!"

Aaron and I entered the sanctuary to the strains of the NutcrackersRussian Tea dance from the Nutcracker. Pastor Kooka was dressed in "fancy" black with a blue rose headband. All of the "A-list" was in attendance - Aaron and I, Kitty-Meow-Meow, Silverhorn (who looked a little sad, as Dolphy used to be her husband. Apparently she's been demoted to aunt), Baby Pasta, Green Riley, Smudge the Dog, Nella, Capricorn, Toto, and Baby Christmas - who "is really, really sarcastic - that's why we always keep a pacifier in his mouth."

At the end of the aisle sat Dolphy and his beautiful bride Belina. She wore a red veil and a diamond tiara.

Pastor Kooka began:
"Dolphy and Belina have loved each other's kindness and warm loving hearts since they were very small children. So they decided they should get married. And now they will kiss."

After much applause, and the obligatory smooch (during which Baby Christmas had to be reprimanded, and the pacifier stuffed down his throat a bit further), there were party favors. I left with a hand-made fan, a magic wand and an emerald ring.

Best wedding I ever went to.

are we done yet?

Apparently not. I know you all thought he was finished - but it ain't over yet. Punk and friends will be hosting the Queen's tea for visiting royalty this Sunday. We were told to bring as many helpers as possible.

You know you want to spend your Sunday morning in the high school cafeteria eating canned pickles and watching little Miss Lakewood's mother generously reapply her child's lipstick 14 times. (Seriously - you gotta watch out for that woman. Anybody who gets within 10 feet will walk out of that school looking like Britney Spears.)

On the flip side - there are free cream puffs. And some of you may actually WANT (or need) a free Britney makeover. I'm sure Kooka will save you a spot in line.

poor punk

Punk is still pretty sad. His best buddy Cam is moving and hour away. I didn't think he'd take it quite so hard. Cam's dad s staying in town, but Punk still feels like he's losing him forever. He's never known life without this kid. They met before their second birthday, and are so much alike - science freaks, imaginative, kindhearted, loyal-to-the-core kind of guys. You don't find that kind of friend every day, and unfortunately, Punk knows it.

Maybe the uncles can write something funny on his blog to cheer him up.

sticking to the schedule

It's harder than you think. It's supposed to go something like this on Thursdays:

Chores
Breakfast
Circle time
Music
Geography
Reading
Math
Language
Computer

But it's pretty hard to make a circle with only three people. Harder yet to alphabetize your spelling words when the Jehovah's Witness girls are knocking at the door. And nearly impossible to keep your eyes on a music scale when the dog is barfing in his kennel and eating it.

I don't think they have these distractions in public school.

sad day

Punk's very, very best friend - since before he was two - is moving today.
Kooka's 2-year-old beta fish died.
One of my favorite dance kids is sick.
It is a sad day for us.

first day of school

Today there was much excitement in the house of homeschool. It was Kooka's first day of Kindergarten and she was sooooooo excited. Punk admitted to being a little bit excited - but only for science and art. Kooka dressed herself in her favorite "Don't Bug Me!" dress and asked for her very favorite hair - "one ponytail coming out the back." Even Punk put on a clean shirt for the occasion.

After chores and breakfast, we kicked off the day with art.

Art is Punk's favorite, and even though we knew this was easy work for him (having worked with Ms. Toni all last year) we started with color wheels. Kooka blended the primary colors to make the secondary colors. Punk had a tougher assignment - blending the primary colors to make secondary and tertiary colors (no easy task with the tempra paint we used). Everybody had fun - but we're all excited for Ms. Toni to come back - and this year Kooka will get her own lessons too.


Next it was on to reading. Punk started "The Cricket in Times Square," and is loving it. Kaia is reviewing phonics rules and using Sing, Spell, Read and Write books. She's a different type of reader than Punk - so it's more challenging to make sure she can actually read and isn't just memorizing sight words.

After reading it was on to math and language. Kooka is our puzzle kid and looooves math. She asks for it all the time, and is pretty quick (even though she still counts on her fingers). She just seems to "get it.". She aced the first two pages of a first grade book, and asked for more. Both kids are starting Singapore Math this year - which is supposed to be incedibly tough - so we started with some assessment stuff. Punk worked on a test, while Kooka used the numberline and flashcards For language, Punk started his new spelling list, while Kooka worked on rhymes and opposites.

Our final project was science - where we built food pyramids out of legos, and filled in our own food pyramids on paper. It's not nearly as cool (or gross) as the human body project they have planned for next week - but still cool.

When it was all said and done Kaia got to pick where we went for her "first day of school lunch" - China Buffet. But we couldn't leave until we took a picture of her with math book, and her new binder, and her fuzzy red pencil, and her color wheel . . . . .

a sad, sad fortune

Today we went to China Buffet for our annual "back-to-school lunch." Punk read his fortune out loud:

Punk: "Attend to business another day, neuter your love life today."
Me: "I think the word is . . . nurture."

the best site ever

I probably shouldn't even post this because Mr. Sarcastic will link to it, and then I'll be listening to my 8-year-old spout these seeds of truth all day. Oh well, it's so worth it - these are hilarious. Our other favories include bitterness, and wishes.

Let us know which ones you like: demotivators

my least favorite field trip

We'll do almost anything in the name of education, and today was the Renaissance Festival.

Did I mention I hate the Renaissance Festival?

It is always hot and crowded and dusty and expensive. But Punk loves the elephants, the secret garden "fairy trail", and the guy that insults people. Kooka loves the "real" queens, the unicorns, and the fairy trail. So we go.

We pretend it's educational. We pretend that this is our first day of school - brushing up on our history. Kooka makes a magic wand at "Frogwarts" magic school. Both kids ride an elephant. Punk hunts for fairies in the secret garden. Kooka blows kisses to all of the queens and princesses, who blow them back. Aaron and I spend $20 on one Turkey Drumstick, two root beer floats and a bottle of water. Our money is history - that's about as authentic as it gets.

But Kooka wins the costume contest for the day (along with a very cool pirate and purple fairy), Punk gets to hand-feed an elephant, both kids ride the elephant, they clamber through the secret garden, Kooka learns to stand up for herself, and we all lament the lack of air-conditioning.

I ask the kids if they 'd like to live in the Renaissance period. They both shout, "NO!" They tell me it's too hot and noisy and crowded. Plus the people are rude and the bathrooms are revolting . . . hmmm maybe they did learn something after all.


Punk watching the elephants



Kooka with the other winners of the costume contest

fairy justice

If you've been to the Renaissance Festival you know how this works - it's called Vegetable Justice. Some smart-alec sits in a stockade and insults people as they attempt to whap him in the face with overrripe tomatoes. It's Punk's favorite part of the day. So, we make our way over to the stockade. Punk is plotting snappy retorts and nasty comebacks.

When we arrive, there is a huge crowd, but nobody is stepping up to throw. And of all the people standing there, this idiot goes for the easy prey - the kid. But it's not even Punk he picks on (who is ready and willing to have a go), nooooooo - this guy picks the one person in the audience guaranteed to be devastated by a cross-eyed glance, the one kid who tears up at the mere thought of being teased, the one kid who gripped my hand all the way across the field and made me promise that this guy wouldn't single her out.

Of course he picks Kooka.

She is dressed in her Renaissance-fairy-finery: ballet dress, crown, glittery wings, and painted face (and actually had just won the children's costume contest). She looks pretty cute.

"Hey," tomato head shouts, "Yeah - you! What are you the UGLY fairy?! You'd make a good one! Oooooh - are you gonna cry?"

Kooka's eyes are huge - she looks from me, back to him, like she can't even believe this is happening. I bend down to pick her up, to tell her it's OK - even the crowd is quiet - tomato head has gone too far.

But then she leans forward and shouts through the silence, "Bring it on, sucker!!!"

There is tremendous laughter and applause, as an assistant lifts her over the fence and hands her five tomatoes.

She's got her jaw set and her hands on her hips. Tomato head says, "Ooooh. I'm really afraid of a four-year-old!"

Grabbing a soggy tomato she says, "I'm five, and you should be afraid."

And although she didn't manage to hit him - she did manage to get an apology and a hint of respect - which is more than anybody else got.

stargazers

Pa got the kids a telescope. We've wanted one forever. Tonight we spent some time stargazing, snuggling in the hammock, and sitting around the fire. For Punk and Kooka, those are the very best nights of all. Punk said, "This is the very best day I've had in a long time - and it's free - totally free. It's so great to be one with nature."