the great american road trip - day 10

Taking this trip is like breathing a giant sigh of relief - like crossing things off of life's giant "to do" list. The kids have swam in both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. They have seen the Mojave Desert, the top of the Rocky Mountains, the places where both of their parents grew up, and several national parks. They have body surfed in Rincon, seen both the decadence of Vegas and the squalor of the southwest. They have tried new foods, stared in wonder at red-rock canyons, been chased by giant tortoises, and ridden in Walt Disney's car.

And they have done all of this - 3000 miles so far with the most amazing enthusiasm. There have been no handheld video games, no portable dvd players, no ipods - just books, friendship bracelet supplies, mad-libs, journals, and favorite CD's.

Most of our travel plans were made on expedia - and although I was a little creeped out by the $9 a night Vegas hotel, I was happy to spend $48, to stay at the Egyptian themed Luxor. Not only were we treated to a pristine ionized pool, sideways moving elevators, a scented outdoor hottub, and funky hiroglyphic decor - but we also got to stay inside the pyramid.

But apparently we were not the only nomads shopping expedia. The punks in front of us smelled of both B.O. and marijuana (and I only cal them that because they were wearing matching shirts that said "Yes I am a Punk"). The dreadlocked one had a patch that read "point of no return" placed strategically over the backside of his pants. I don't even know what it was supposed to mean, and pretty sure I don't want to.

There were young children carousing in the hotel lobby at 12:30am - most of them speaking French - most of their parents pissed that nobody else seemed to be able to. Even the French kids in strollers were yelling at somebody.

The barely 21 year-olds barely dressed, huddled together hiking their skirts up in case nobody had noticed them yet. It was even too much for fashion-concious Kooka who exclaimed - "for pete's sake - that doesn't even LOOK good - put some pants on!"

Oh well - I wanted them to see more of America . . . guess I got my wish.

Tonight we are hanging out in Nephi, Utah - Roberta's Roadside Retreat - it is the perfect roadtrip motel - we swam under the stars, ate raspberry ice cream and lemonade pie in the hottub, and and watched bad TV until most of us fell asleep.

the great american road trip - day 9

After a much needed sleep-in, we headed for Rincon with Kelley and the boys. Punk had a blast surfing the big waves, while Kooka stuck to the waist deep sandbar about waist deep. I, for one, will never, ever ever dig my toes into the wet sand again - the live animals Kelley pulled from the shore made me more than a little uneasy. We found shells, lobster tails, sea slugs, more sandcrabs than we needed to, and tons of giant crab claws. Punk was so enthralled with the tide pools, and body surfing, that I had to drag him out of the ocean to get him dried off for the rest of our trip.

After goodbyes to our cousins, we headed to Bakersfield, CA. I won't say much about that trip here - there aren't enough words, but I will say this - when I stood in the place where my mother died, my own 7 year old held my hand and said "Thank you for letting me see this mommy," it was even worse . . . or maybe better, than visiting that gravestone.

the great american road trip - day 8

The fact that I have a most serious sore throat might have something to do with how I feel about today - but I doubt it. Today we hung out with Uncle B - I love to spend time with him. He is a history buff, and one of the only people in the world who remembers my relatives. We looked through old photo albums, I got to hold the sword that my granddad pulled off a Nazi at Normandy and we visited the cemetery. I have 8 relatives buried in that place - 8 people I used to know - it was more than a little draining.

But the day ended with pizza and the cousins playing light sabers in the front yard - which is not a bad way to wrap things up.

the great american road trip day 7

Day two at Disneyland was more of the same - with a few highlights - Punk got to ride the Indiana Jones ride, Kooka got to hit the teacups.(Doesn't she look like the happiest seven year-old ever?) Punk got his first ride on Space Mountain, and Kooka got to visit Storybook Village. We rode in a car that Walt Disney used to drive, and Punk's almost religious caressing of the driver's seat was alone worth the price of admission.

the great american road trip - day 6

Disneyland.
In July.

Really no more to be said - except thank God for Tiffany and her friend Jessica - they know more about Disney than Roy, Walt and Punk put together.

More Disney tomorrow.

Yikes.

the great american road trip - day 5

Day 5:

If we thought we were exhausted before, it's only because we forgot how hard it is to keep up with my cousin Kelley. After a brunch at Mike's restaurant (best chile rellanos in the WORLD), we headed to the beach.

We ran through the cold Pacific waves, Kooka finally lost her wiggly front tooth while walking on the pier, Punk ran through the waves with his cousins, and Kelley dug up sand crabs for us to poke at.

After the beach, it was off to the harbor, where we met up with Tiffany (cousin #2) and went for a peddle boat trip in the ocean. Needless to say, I sort of sucked at it, and it wasn't until Punk and Kooka took control that we actually started going anywhere. We watched real crabs scuttle across the rocks below, and a huge seal popped up about a yard from our boat.

After a quick stop for ice cream, it was off to the Oxnard salsa festival, where we sampled dozens of salsas and guacamoles from all over the city. We found an amazing tie-dye dress for Kooka - and Punk picked up a free sombrero.

We headed back to Uncle B's house, where Kelley barbequed tri-tip steaks - that even Punk proclaimed "delicious." (Really - there is nothing this chick can't do).

Tomorrow she is waking us up at 5 am to go to Disneyland . . . .

Kooka's freshly missing tooth on Ventura Beach.

Oxnard Salsa festival

the great american road trip - day 4 - more

After a quick stop at the MGM casino to see the lions, we hit the road again. The trip through the Mojave desert was about 112°, so it was with some trepidation that we stopped at Calico - a real silver mining ghost town, just outside of Barstow, CA.

It turned out to be one of the highlights of our trip. Calico boasts a "mystery shack" - where the laws of gravity are flipped upside down - water runs uphill, it's impossible to stand up straight - we all loved it. We also stopped at the saloon for old time root beer. Punk loved the fact that they gave you free buckets of peanuts, and encouraged you to spit the shells on the floor. Kooka panned for fools gold - and found quite a bit.

We pulled into Ventura late that night - exhausted and ready for bed.

the great american road trip - day 4

I am not sure how day four will end (hopefully in Ventura), but for now, Punk and Kooka are loving the extravagant Vegas lifestyle - sipping fruit smoothies poolside at the lovely Tuscany Suites.

the great american road trip - day 3

Day 3 started with a game of giant checkers in Moab. The life-sized checker set was part of the playground at our campsite. Punk and Kooka had a ball playing - and true to form, hyper competitive Kooka won, while Punk was content to just jump his pieces all over the place.

Our first stop for the day was Arches National Park. We tried to get an early start to avoid the heat, but at 10 am it was already 98°. Punk was excited to see this place because scenes from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade were filmed in the park. We drove through while playing the Indy theme song.

I did request that we actually get out and make the 100-yard hike to see Delicate Arch. If you ask Kooka about this hike, she will regale you with tales not unlike the Battan Death March - so feel free to inquire. ("Miles," she says, "miles with no shade - no water - it was soooo difficult.") I am pleased to report that she made it back down the hill in record time - before the rest of us, so apparently she suffered no serious injury.

After arches we were on the road to Vegas - which basically meant we saw nothing but Rock and canyons for 5 hours. Nothing - and that is not an exaggeration.

Vegas has been a whirlwind for us all.

Part of the appeal of the Canyonlands was the sheer "nothingness" of it all - just rock - just earth - no water, very little vegetation, empty space . . . so to travel from nothing, to the overcrowded decadence of Vegas in one day, was a bit of culture shock.

Both kids loved the lights, and the crazy ceiling on Freemont street. We watched the street artists (the guy with the spray paint cans knocked Punk's socks off when he finished an outer-space-star-wars-scene in under 3 minutes). We caught a bit of the pirate show at Treasure Island (enough to see the explosions) and the water dance at the Bellagio.

Punk spent the better part of the night protecting his little sister. "Kooka - don't look at that poster." "Kooka you should not be seeing this." - which only enticed her curiosity. I, on the other hand spent the better part of the night distracting him from the pimps - hoping that he wouldn't even think to ask about them.

For now, we need sleep - desperately - we have to get to California tomorrow!

the great american road trip - day 2

For days we've been without wi-fi. So many adventures - but nowhere to blog - and we have to get back on the road quickly - so here are a few updates.

Most of Thursday was spent in Colorado. We stood at the top of the continental divide and threw snowballs in July. We rode a tram up the Rocky Mountains, and an alpine racer down. Kooka mined for gems, while Punk tried to find his way out of a wild west adventure maze in Glenwood Springs, CO. We drove through the night until we ended up at our cabin in Moab.






The tram stopped halfway up, swaying precariously in the Rocky Mountain wind. We were at least a quarter mile in the air. Both Punk and I enjoyed the ride down much more - reaching closer to safety with each second. THe tram was the only way to get to the adventure park and the Alpine Racers. But as Punk continued to remind us - the best way to conquer fear is to face it. (Pretty sure he got that from Yoda, or Spongebob or something, but it was appropriate advice nonetheless)

the great american road trip - day 1

If you know us at all - you already know the story. Two weeks, eleven states - and this is day one.

For now, we are hunkered down in Big Springs, Nebraska - a Motel 6 where "they'll leave a light on for you". Would be a nice touch if the same could be said of the pool drain covers. For the past 30 minutes I have been waiting for the woman in the kiddie pool to have the sweat pants she is swimming in forcibly sucked from her body.

"Only in Nebraska." It's been the mantra for the day So many things have us scratching our heads - and most of them occurred at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha.

The Doorly Zoo boasts the largest indoor rainforest in the world. At first glance, it's a pretty amazing scene - real waterfalls, rope bridges crossing watery gorges, ivy and vines hanging everywhere . . . it looks exactly like something Punk would build.

Which is the whole problem. The cleanliness, craftsmanship and safety precautions are about up to 4th grade standard.

The first board on the rope bridge is loose - way loose - spins 180° loose, even Punk takes off a little timidly. The rock walkways are slick with mud and water - good thing we brought those Keens.


Punk's favorite section is the Kingdom of the Night. It is here that we see vampire bats drinking cereal bowls full of blood. Here, that we wander through a simultaneous awe-inspiring, terrifying realistic swamp. There is nothing but a ramshackle wooden footbridge and a bit of chainlink fence between our feet and a swampy pool of 7 foot Florida gators. Add to this, the fact that it is pitch black in this exhibit - it's not like we can see anything anyway. And at one point both Kooka and I are fairly startled to see a particularly fat gator less than 6 inches from our foot. There is nothing to keep the oppossums on possum island, and there is a conspicuous lack of volunteers in the swamp. I half expect that creepy voodoo lady from Pirates of the Carribean to pop up and start telling us about the mating habits of the Boat Bill Heron.

And then there is the grotto. I can't even begin to describe this - it's late, we are exhausted, but let's suffice it to say, that this is a disaster waiting to happen - a disaster of Baby Jessica proportions. Right after a blind corner, there is a ten foot deep pool - open - no gate, surrounded by unstable footing. At first we thought it was some sort of clever mirror trick, or at least a plexiglass covered pool - but nooooooo - not in Nebraska! It was indeed - just what it looked like - a 10 foot deep well, waiting for an overexuberant toddler, or an old man in a hoverround to take that blind corner too quickly. (I admit, morbid curiosity did force me to linger there a bit longer than I should have.) Here is a picture of Punk and Kooka peering over the edge.


The rest of the cave was filled with bat cages held together with questionable sections of patched chicken wire. Thankfully the blood-sucking ones were behind glass. Needless to say, when the "fire alarm" went off, and the attendant told us she wasn't sure what the problem was, we assumed that a gila monster had jumped the fence, or another body was being pulled from the grotto, and we headed for the aquarium.

Anyway - tomorrow is Colorado, and a bit of Utah.

Maybe I will do tomorrow justice . . . but for now, if I could skip over Nebraska I would.

ummmm

Looked outside the window the other day, and saw Punk outfitted in this Wile E. Coyote contraption.

Thank god we were fresh out of ACME dynamite.

crazy

Crazy. This show was completely crazy.

Don't get me wrong - the whole thing was wonderful. Punk and I had an AMAZING time working on Bye Bye Birdie. The cast was so much fun - smart, sarcastic and supportive - not to mention talented. For four months Punk had two moms, two dads and two sisters - (though his stage version was slightly more dysfunctional). Kooka got to hang out with some of the coolest teenagers in town, and I began to remember why I love my job.

But, still, having said all of that, it was still over the top - crazy over the top.

The show sold out - not just one night - every single night. This is a pretty rare occurrence for summertime community theater. I mean - we're good (really good actually), but still - it was almost creepy how badly people wanted to see this show.

We offered eight jump seats per night, and people were lined up three hours before the show started to get one. It was like the Michael Jackson's Victory Tour. No lie - there was a lady sitting outside with a pillow and blanket - wouldn't be surprised if she had camped out all night to get in. Another group of people asked if they could pay triple the price for the one remaining seat, and have three people sitting on laps. Seriously?!! On LAPS?! By that point you wouldn't even be able to see - what would be the point just to say you were there - like Woodstock?

And the post show was no less weird. Actually some some lady my age came up to the ticket booth and ask, "So - Conrad Birdie - what's he like in real life?" The lady taking tickets didn't really even know how to respond - can't say that I blame her.

Anyway - aside from the borderline mania at the box office, the show was amazing.We are so lucky to have spent the summer with our old friends, and met so many new ones too.

Punk's pics were taken in the greenroom and afterwards at the meet-and greet - where I am reminded daily - the MacAffees always stood together.







Contrary to how it looks - Punk ADORES the guy in the green shirt (we'll call him Maude). Maude taught Punk how to take a fake punch - and all kinds of dirty jokes that hope I will probably never hear.

californa here we come

So the show is almost over, the bags are almost packed, and I am about to head off on a road trip of gigantic proportions.

I have not been on a roadtrip of any significant distance since I was 10 years old and my dad dragged us and his Linda Ronstadt 8-tracks from the middle of California to Flaxton, North Dakota and back again. I have vivid memories of dirty Motel Sixes, eating Buddig Turkey straight out of the plastic envelope, and a cult leader in Utah giving me a necklace made of paperclips and contact paper.

Good Times.

Who knows what will happen this time around. My list of plans, lists, fast food coupons, MapQuest directions and possible educational stops are about 35 pages deep. I am pretty sure all my dad had was a gas station road map and a rough idea of where he could find Custer's Last Stand.

Both kids suitcases have been packed for days - double checked (daily) and nothing has been left out. We have food, two cameras, a borrowed GPS, an entire storage container full of books, two bottles of sunscreen - 50spf, educational supplies, junior motrin, sunglasses, kid-friendly atlases, freshly laundered blankets, and approximately 220 road-trip friendly songs on CD (which will make for a much more pleasant driving experience than the 3 partially melted tapes my father chose to bring with us).

In a nutshell - we are ready to roll . . . yet I am a little uncertain if all of this planning is going to serve us any better at all. My dad told us to throw some pajamas in a paper bag and make sure we had shoes on. I saw the better part of America wearing the same shirt and 78¢ flip-flops from the grocery store . . . I am not so sure that Keenes and an ipod are going to change things much.

Regardless, we will keep you all posted. 2000 miles is a long treck - I am sure we will have lote of adventures along the way.

one last look

Move over little kid - big kid Kooka is on her way.

noooooooooooooooooooooooo

No - no - no - no - no.
I refuse to accept that my baby girl is losing her two front teeth.
She looks completely and absolutely adorable, and says words like "Mithithippi," but I am not emotionally ready to deal with not having a baby in my house.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

team

I am not sure how they do it - but they do.
And they seem to love it.

It was another late night at the theater for us - probably later than it should have been, but Punk was wide awake, and promised me that he wasn't tired at all. Even Kooka stuck it out until 9:45.

It is a lot of work putting together a show like this - a cast of forty, 20-some songs - more songs than I have ever had in a show - and two less weeks to do it. It has been exhausting.

Yet, when it is all said and done . . .I know this is right for them. When I see them hanging out with great kids, when Punk is home drawing and has the soundtrack to Bye Bye Bye Bordie cranked throughout the house, just because he loves it, when my seven year old can carry on a legitimate conversation with an adult, when they say to me, "Mom, this has been hard - but in a few weeks I am really going to miss this, so lets just enjoy it" - that is when I know this is right for us.

It is not football, not chess club, not swim team, but it is our team, and we are lucky to be able to play.

neighborhood freaks

There are not a lot of families like us on the block.

For starters, none of our neighbors have 10 year old boys running around in their bathing suits wearing eyeliner and blush. None of the boys on the block have seven year-old sisters who think nothing of going to Target to help their brother pick out the right shade of lipstick - one that won't make him look too "girly."

But what makes us most unusual of all, is not that we survive tech week anyway we can, it is that most of our neighbors would even consider letting their kids play on the rolla-bolla of death - more commonly referred to as a slip and slide. And certainly none of the neighbors children are doing so wearing Cover Girls' mystic plum.

christian

The three of us spent a good part of the morning teary eyed, watching this video. The story is amazing (you can read part of the book at animal planet.)Trouble is, now both Punk and Kooka want a baby lion.

I sort of do too.