gym class

Punk and Kooka will never learn what a first down is from me, or how to play hockey, or which golf club to use when (they only give you one at mini-golf). I cannot teach them how to use a lacrosse stick, to dribble a soccer ball, or escape a full-nelson. But by-god there will be back-handsprings, fouette turns, and splits.
Last month we studied baseball, before that it was tap dance, now we are on to gymnastics.
Kooka is technically proficient, but Punk is three times as daring -which gives him a giant edge in gymnastics. He's working on back-walkovers. Kooka is practicing cartwheels. Both of them turn out their splits (as they should) -always.

off-off broadway

Tonight we were treated to an off-off broadway production of "The Lion King." There were only two characters - a rhythmically gifted Simba with a yellow tutu for a mane, and extremely sarcastic Zazoo the bird wrapped in a multitude of garish scarves. The show ended with a freestyle breakdancing/ballet rendition of "Dancin In September" by Earth Wind & Fire. It was surprisingly good, albeit a bit sureal - like too much laughing gas at the dentist.

As for who played what character - like you have to ask.

what we do all day

Lest our relatives think that all we do is watch American Idol, tap dance, crash scooters and call it school; today went something like this:

Fitness club - Kooka's brainchild, and she wants everybody to participate. Fitness club consists of loud music, accompanied by much consulting of "the exercise book" (an old CD case). There are many arabesques, splits, and jumping jacks. You have to perform all of the yoga/dance moves on a giant pile of pillows covered with a yellow comforter. It's a wonder nobody slips a disc. We cannot use the real gymnastic mat we own, because the owner of fitness club likes yellow. The best part of fitness club, is that you have to pretend to be more than one person - so the owner has more people to boss around. It's like fight club - only more dangerous.

Math - Kooka gets her book out and assigns herself four pages - which is funny, because I never assign her any at all - she's 4. She just likes to do it. She is working on addition - and gets 17 out of twenty right. Punk loves flash cards - so we play math dash, and then practice dividing with remainders - it helps when the remainders are marshmallows.

Reading - Punk goes first. He reads to me about ancient elephants - and we research a real-live, talking elephant in Korea. Then Kooka reads a Disney book to us. She is getting pretty good - it helps when the stories are about princesses or fairies.

History - We're actually on a bit of a roll with this. Punk likes history, and we are learning about the presidents. Mostly he likes the weird information; like the fact that John Quincy Adams had a pet alligator in the White House, or that George Washington hardly ever took a bath. His favorite presidents all have messy hair or exotic pets. But he has managed to narrow it down to one favorite:


Teddy Roosevelt was my favorite president. He really liked animals, and he looked good. He also liked to play a game where he would walk in a straight line, even if that meant he had to swim. Roosevelt had six kids who were allowed to do tons of cool things like take their pony up the White House elevator. That is why I love Teddy Roosevelt.

First of all, let me admit that Punk is a nature nut, who loves that Roosevelt created all of these national parks to explore, and he does truly admire the Teddy's adventurous streak. But before you think he's gone all fireworks and apple pie on us - the REAL reason he loves Teddy Roosevelt is because Robin Williams played him in Night at the Museum. Seriously, Punk has visions of Teddy Rosevelt being a wise-cracking calvary cowboy, who moonlights as the genie in Aladdin.

As for the rest of the day, it was spent dancing in a rainstorm, getting haircuts, shopping for father's day, having "rock out" time, reading scripts, writing letters, drawing comic books and yes, watching American Idol.

music appreciation

While kids in "regular school" go to choir class and play in the orchestra, Kooka and Punk get music appreciation lessons every Tuesday evening. While Punk laughs at Simon Cowell, Kooka usually swoons over Paula Abdul, and whichever contestant was wearing the most sequins that night.

At our house, we all love Blake, and his beatboxing, Maroon 5 singing, retro-flock-of-seagulls-dressing self, but now that it's down to the final two, Kooka is holding out for Jordan to sweep it. Heaven forbid somebody without pantyhose should win.

As one of the Charlie Brown kids put it the other day, "I'm sure she's a lovely person - but like that matters -Blake is sooooooo much cooler."

Preach on Snoopy.

tiny dancer

Kooka had a dance recital this weekend. If you missed it - you missed seeing the girl in her prime. Not only was she the best ballerina there, she was a pretty sweet tapper too. (And no, we're not at all biased) She was also given an "All-Star Award," a special pin awarded to the dancer in each class who exibits the best attitude, attendance and ability. Quite a nice accomplishment for a four year-old in a class of first graders.(then again - she does get free private lessons whenever she wants). Needless to say, she was pretty proud of herself.


"Don't Go Breakin' My Heart"
Kooka's funky tap jam

haiku

by Punk

Eggs are really gross
Yucky, barfy, bat vomit
Aarrg! I'm eating germs!


I love mom so much
She is sweet as roses
Intoxicating!

our favorite things

We asked both kids to pick their 10 favorite things, and set them out in order (most loved first - living things don't count). We figured it would be nice to remember what they really valued at 4 & 7. A few of Kooka's were a surprise, but Punk's have been pretty steadfast since age 5 - or younger. Here's what they picked:

Kooka: (from top left) 1) Fuzzy 2) Kitty Meow-Meow 3) my unicorns plus Dolphy, because he is married to Silverhorn the unicorn 4) the baton that used to be Mommy's when she was five 5) my white shoes that make me feel fancy 6) markers 7)acrylic paints 8) my princess magazines 9) my favorite blue shirt and tan pants 10) the Charlie Brown guys


Punk:(from bottom left) 1) Whispers the elephant 2) my real Grumpy 3) the frost dragon that Pa gave me 4) complete Calvin and Hobbes collection 5) all of my toy dinos but especially the protoceratops and all of the pachycephalosaurus' 6) 3-tip-real-art markers 7) leapster 8) CD player and all of my favorite music 9) robo-raptor 10) the big Grumpy that Kaia gave me for Christmas

drivers ed

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that we shouldn't start behind-the-wheel until the kids are old enough to actually see over the wheel. You figured Kooka would be at least 16 before she rolled a vehicle. I know what you're thinking because I was thinking the exact same thing until about 4:00 this afternoon. That is when Pa (Grandpa/my dad) decided to teach Kooka to drive.

I left both kids with Pa, so I could go help Gramma at the Care Center. He was in his apartment showing the kids his new rascal scooter - it helps him, and his two broken feet get around town. I come back 10 minutes later to find Punk, standing alone in front of Pa's apartment building. He immediately says, "Don't worry Mom. Everything is fine. Pa is letting us drive his scooter." Then he points directly behind me.

I turn to see Kooka, sitting on Pa's lap, steering down the parkway. She reaches up to wave to me, taking both hands off the wheel. Pa, busted foot on the gas pedal, realizes they'e heading for the curb, and grabs the handles to correct it. Kooka does a double take, and realizing she's let go, grabs the handles and yanks them back the other way. Pa is shifting his weight trying desperately to keep the thing upright - but it's no use.

The two of them tumble into the middle of the road, taking the scooter with them. They are both lying underneath it. For a second I'm in shock - I mean, these things are made for old people, people who can't walk - they don't come with roll bars or helmets, they max out at 8mph - they're not supposed to flip like that. (Then again I don't think you're supposed to be going top-speed with a pre-schooler at the wheel.) It's only when I hear Punk gasping, that I realize I've left my diabetic-heart patient-broken footed father, not to mention my four year old baby girl, pinned under a small vehicle in the middle of the road. By the time I start to run, an EMT pulls up behind me. She happened to be driving by, and she's moving a lot faster than I am.

Thankfully the scooter is light. Kooka's leg is scraped up, and her elbow is bloody and bruised pretty badly. Pa took a worse hit. In his attempt to protect her, he ripped the skin off of his elbow, part of his knee, and his shoulder isn't moving quite right. But he is laughing and he says, "Wow Kooka! That was quite an adventure! We'll remember that forever."

Through quiet, jerky tears she whispers, "I am already trying to forget it."
She reluctantly agrees to ride with Pa back to the apartment where they compare their matching wounds. Twenty kisses, 13 hugs, half a tube of Bacatracin and two stories later, they are both a bit calmer.

Punk seems pretty impressed that they lived to tell the tale, and willingly offers to illustrate the action, so both of them can see "how funny/scary/cool" it looked.

You know, this isn't the first time my dad's been thrown from a moving vehicle, and certainly not the first time someone in my family has been responsible. (If you've ever heard the shotgun, hood of the car, North Dakota story - you know what I mean.) But you have to wonder why he sets himself up like that. He either really loves us, or has a death wish - a very painful, bloody, bone cracking death wish.

the best books ever

Kooka: I Will Never - Not Ever - Eat a Tomato, The Lorax, Skippyjon Jones, anything by Kevin Henkes, Usborne Puzzle Adventure Books, Henry & Mudge, Mr. Putter and Tabby, Lucky Mrs. Ticklefeather, Clarice Bean

Punk:Calvin and Hobbes, The Sisters Grimm, National Geographic Kids, any dinosaur book, Harry Potter, Peter Pan in Scarlet, all of the Oz books, Harry Potter, the Time Warp Trio, our vacation scrapbooks, Eyewitness books

Mom:One Year Off, Blackbird, the Kitchen Boy, Harry Potter, any history book, Modoc, Alex - the Life of a Child, the Sisters Grimm, Molly Moon's Incredible Book of Hypnotism, Briar Rose - by Jane Yolen, Gus and Button

Dad:Artemis Fowl, Harry Potter, any Photo Magazine, the real Grimm's Fairy tales

the best supplies

Everybody always asks what we "use" to homeschool. They probably want to know what math books we use, or how we do spelling - but for us, that's not the really important stuff.

These are the very best supplies we have:

marshmallows and chocolate chips
much more fun to count than pinto beans

base ten blocks
in case you have to count higher than five hundred - nobody should eat that many marshmallows

four library cards
to four different libraries

imagination
this always comes in handy

at least one other grown up outside the family who likes your kid almost as much as you do, and is willing to teach them something without talking down to them
like Toni or Paul or Rachel or Christina or Mrs. Quick or Ms. Sharon or Clayton (who actually is family - but that we don't see nearly enough for Punk's taste)

art supplies
a whole cupboard full if you can swing it

a messy kitchen table
who are we kidding - the whole house is kinda like that

love
that's what we use the most

the best part of the day

We call it "rock out" time. Every day we pick a song - any song and rock out for the whole thing.
Today it was the Mommy and Kooka song (let your hair down - corrinne bailey rae) -in the kitchen.
It's the best part of the day.

a message from kooka

I want the whole world to look beautiful. We need to plant flowers and climb up in trees. We need to mow our lawn - because if it's long it doesn't look very fancy. We should pick up pollution. People should be nice to each other and help each other pick up the world. I want the whole world to look like a big, beautiful palace.

cake girl & veggie kid

Talk about false advertising. Kooka - who eats tomatoes like apples, and broccoli like potato chips, was asked to shoot a chocolate cake box. While Punk, who is slightly allergic to anything that doesn't contain artificial presrvatives, was asked to record a radio spot as "the veggie kid."

So, while little sister was having her face painted with frosting, Punk was busy touting the benefits of riboflavin and beta carotine.

Punk's recording was a piece of cake - done in 15 minutes.

The photo shoot was tougher. Kooka stood there for 2 hours looking at that cake, smelling that cake, having the frosting painted on her lips and being told "don't lick that off!" But she loved it - loved the whole thing, and when she was done they gave her a piece of cake as big as her head, plus they gave her the rest to share with her brother.

the art fair

Actually it was a science and art fair. Both kids left pretty happy. Punk entered two art projects and left with two first place ribbons in the 7-10 year old category. Kooka entered two art projects and one science. She rocked the house leaving with the grand prize for art AND science in the 4-6 age division, plus another blue ribbon for her homemade jewelry.

creative writing

These are actual topic sentences from Punk's second grade journal:

• Once an egg went to a gravely, dusty wall to think about life.
• The mother forced her innocent son to do homework - was she working for the devil?
• If you were on my imagination island, you'd look to the left and see a small, cabinish, wood tree fort on four stilts.
• It was Jimmy's first birthday . . . and his last.

And then there was the next assignment:

10 things I want to accomplish by the time I'm 30:
by Punk
1) Make a movie
2) Invent a robot
3) Go to Disney 10 times
4) See the Badlands again
5) Ride in an RV for 5 weeks
6) Go to the ocean with my family again
7) Play the Rampage video game again
8) To have a life-size model dinosaur
9) Put Camp Snoopy back up again
10) Own a lizard

And Kooka's version:
1) To have a job
2) To be a swimming teacher, or a gardener, or a teacher with a chalkboard
3) To learn to cook bread
4) To have a pet cat, even though I'm allergic
5) To work at Disney World
6) To have a pony, because I don't think we can find a unicorn
7) To learn to walk on a tightrope
8) To visit a place where real princesses live
9) To type on the computer
10) To live in a house by my mom, but none of the houses in our neighborhood are pretty, except for that pink one, so you guys will have to move.

the daydreamers

Punk decided we need a web page. He is seven and is pretty sure that if Calvin and Hobbes can build a time machine with a cardboard box and a sharpie, that I should be able to do this. So far, this is the best I can do. Kooka is 4 and has grand designs of plastering this thing with paintings of fairies, and pictures of her ballet recital. If Punk had his way it would be dinosaurs, robots, and Peanuts characters.

So anyway - this is as good as it gets. And while there might be some room for fairies and robots, it will be more about homeschool, and life and the amazing good fortune of being four and seven.