excuses

"So what branch of the government did these guys serve in?" I am holding up Presidential flashcards to Punk and Kooka.

Kooka jumps in first, "Oooh - that one that starts with an E!"

Then Punk, "Yeah the excuse-itives!" he shouts.

"The EXCUSE-itives?" I ask.

He shrugs, laughs, he knows he's wrong, but says, "Yeah, you know, because they probably have to make a lot of excuses for being such cruddy leaders." Once again, the child is spared extra homework thanks to a quick one-liner.

And he was right . . . not even gonna TELL you which President card we were looking at.

chad vader

Let me start by saying I think Star Wars is ridiculous - I have never been a fan, never will be . . . maybe that's why this is so funny to me . . . Darth Vader's younger brother, Chad. If you like it - there are 7 more episodes on youtube - I watched them all.

derby results

He said all along he didn't want to win the race . . .which is good, because he didn't.

But for the second year in a row, Punk did manage to snag the coolest car trophy at the cub scout pinewood derby. It's hard to see in the photos, but the alien actually lights up - and so do the little green thingys on the front. It looked pretty sweet when the lights were dimmed and the cars were racing.


Kooka said she knew all along that he would win it . . . I was not so sure, because truth be known - there is a special award for the slowest car of the day . . . and if that other kid's block of wood hadn't jumped that track and thrown off his time . . . I'm pretty sure Punk would've had that one too.

Anyway - he's pretty happy, and is already dreaming up designs for next year.

pinewood derby

This Sunday is the boy-scout pinewood derby. Punk and Aaron are hard at work on their entry. Last year, Punk's red dragon car won the coolest car trophy, and he is hoping for a repeat. He has said repeatedly that he has no desire to actually win the race - as long he looks fabulous when he loses.

so he packed up his bags . . .

Punk is always asking when we can move - the kid craves "newness", adventure. So the other day we asked him what exactly his dream house would be like. This was his description:

"It would be a nice house - like a mansion . . but the whole yard would be full of junk so we could build things and explore. Old rusty cars, broken beds - stuff like that - like a giant junkyard. And then there would be a swamp in the backyard, so we could play in it - a BIG swamp, green and mossy, with lots of toads and animals. (Can you hear the banjos playing in the background?) And I think maybe one of those big things that pumps oil from the ground."

"Why?"

"Because they look cool - plus we would be rich."

My son wants to move in with Jed Clampet.

history

I have a MINOR in the subject . . my kids seem to love it . . . never want to be done. Then why in the world can we not seem to get a single thing RIGHT?

Today we start on the American Revolution. But first we have to review, so we go back to the Pilgrims, trying to remember why we are here in the first place . . . PIL-GRIMS folks - preschool stuff.

This is how it goes, "OK guys, now remember the Pilgrims? Who were they?"

Punk, "Oh - their clothes were so ugly."
Kooka, "I know."
Me, "Who WERE they?"
Punk, "Well they had those stupid hats, and the girls had napkins on their heads.I'm gonna draw a Pilgrim right now."
Kooka, "Me too! Pilgrims is a funny word - Pilgrims, Pilgrims, Pilgrims."
Me, "Stop - we're not even talking about Pilgrims today, we are talking about the Revolutionary War."
Kooka, "Then why did you ask about Pilgrims?"
Me, "Because I'm trying to get to the part about the war."
Punk, "Then get to it already."
Me, "But the Pilgrims - who WERE they?"
Punk, "I think they were friends with Columbus. He probably went back and told them about all the cool stuff here, so they moved."
Kooka, "OH! OH! I know - the Pilgrims came on that boat, 'The Mayflower'."
Me, "YES! YES they did! WHY did they come over here on the Mayflower?"
Kooka, "Well I assume it's because they didn't want to be late for Thanksgiving dinner."


I have no right to be educating these children myself - no right whatsoever.

bust a move

Kooka has always been a ballerina. She was almost two when she took her first class, and 26 months when she started weekly lessons. Pink and swirly and sparkles and girly - that has always been her style.

But then today, we tapped her to do a cameo in a hip hop piece with 5th graders. Honestly, I thought it would be more work than it would be worth, thought I'd spend hours practicing, talking about style . . . but noooooooo.

She learned it when I was teaching the big kids, and dang - the girl can bust a move, even got hi-fives from the 11 year olds - maybe she is my kid after all.

apparently . . . .

. . . I am hotter that I thought. Got this link from Melanie - that shows you your celebrity look-alikes. Kooka faired pretty well 83% like Hayden Panettiere, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Christie Brinkley - but also Collin Farrel - ouch. Here is mine . . . who knew?

falling hard

Ever been in our house at night? A make-shift baby gate in our room to keep Ozzy in, a three foot wide fan in the hallway - and last night a laundry basket.

So when Kooka screams (for like the fifth night this week)as if the boy from the Grudge was climbing into her bed, there is a bit navigating to do.

And last night my internal GPS was apparently off. I fell - face forward, right on the edge of the gate, slid down, tumbled head over heels and landed with my head in Kooka's room, one foot in my own.

And it hurt.
A lot.

Needless to say - Kooka immediately fell silent and feigned sleep. Both Aaron and Punk woke up, called out "You OK?" and went back to sleep. I lay curled on the floor for a good five minutes before I crawled back to bed. It hurt to sleep, but today I really felt it . . my stomach is scraped up - giant bruise on my left thigh and shin, right shoulder is totally out of wack, my neck hurts, my back won't quite straighten, and the triage nurse says to just watch things . . .

. . . things like baby gates and laundry baskets - maybe I should watch those.

new toy

We are thinking about getting one of these for the backyard. Aaron's company is selling them. It comes as a set with a Ginsu™ teeter-totter.

back where we belong

Finally - even though we all dreaded getting back in the swing of things - today set us straight. . . this is indeed how our life goes.

First there was art class with Toni. She invited them to her house today, and first thing Punk says when he walks in is, "Whoa, Ms. Toni, your house is so, so . . .CLEAN!"

Nice.

Then Kooka pipes in, "Yeah - our house is a dump! We always have to clean our rooms before anybody can even come in and then mom still says they're messy, and tells everybody she is sorry."

Great.

Lunch at McDonalds. Finish math. Do spelling. Get dressed for ballet.

Kooka and I were both dreading dance class today. But once we were there - we were in our element - and we were both so happy. Sometimes a break just reminds you how much you like your life.

introducing . . .

Allow me to introduce you to the newest member of our family -

For Christmas, Kooka asked Santa for a doll that looks like her. He delivered, and she has been toting that doll around ever since.

And thanks to Uncle Rascal, who suggested that the doll's name should rhyme with Kooka's, the blonde haired, blue eyed doll has been Christened Maia Shannia - yes you heard that right. Now all she needs is a corn cob pipe and some daisy duke shorts to go with that hillbilly name: